How to Get a 12 Year Old Boy to Like You

Co-authored by Lisa Shield

Last Updated: January 30, 2024 References

Have a crush on that cute 12 year old boy at your school or church? Learn how to get his attention, talk, and spend time with him. Understand that there’s no way to actually make anyone like you, but you can be nice and get to know him so that he’ll see what a great person you are!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Getting His Attention

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Look over at him when you’re in the same room and smile at him to let him know you’re friendly and that looking at him makes you happy.^{[1]
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Research source} Just don’t overdo it, if you do it could make him think you're weird and he may not like you, but you can definitely catch his eye several times during a class, game, party, or church. You can shyly look away once you catch his eye, or keep up the eye contact.
Pick out a favorite outfit that makes you feel beautiful and comfortable, not too fancy and uncomfortable, so that you feel confident the next time you see him. Don’t feel like you need to wear “stylish” clothes that other people are wearing, because he may not even like or notice them, but he will pay attention when you feel comfortable and at ease.

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Do subtle makeup, if you would like, and hair. Experiment with how to wear your hair and makeup, but keep it simple and ultimately go with what you think looks great on you and makes you feel good. Always start by practicing good hygiene: shower and wash your hair, wear deodorant, and brush your teeth every day, so you don't smell or look gross.
- Wear your hair down or up in a ponytail or bun, or however you like to wear it best. Try playing around with curling or straightening it for a new look if you want.
- Brush a little mascara on your eyelashes and apply some concealer or foundation to your skin if you want to cover up any redness or acne.
4
Get close to him. Stand next to him when you’re in a group, and get close if you’re sitting next to him. You can even lightly touch him on the arm while you’re talking or give him a playful push if he’s teasing or joking with you.^{[2]
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Research source} But pay attention to the signs he’s giving you. Some people don’t like others in their close personal space or feel uncomfortable with touch; it doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like you.
- If you don’t want to get too close or touch him, you can simply mimic his body language. If he crosses his arms, leans his head on his hand, or stands with his hands in his pockets while he’s talking to you, wait at least 20 seconds and do the same or something similar. This is a very subtle way to show you are paying attention and interested in him.
Observe him to see what kinds of books he reads, music he listens to, or teams he follows. While he’s around, try reading a book by the same author or wearing a band t-shirt that you think he would like as a way of getting him to initiate a conversation before you do.^{[3]
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Write him a sweet or funny note and slip it into his locker. You can leave it anonymous by signing it with a code name or word and tell him he has to figure out who it is through clues you give him in each letter. Stick with a simple joke or compliment in your letters if you don’t want to get too mushy or forward right away.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Talking to Him

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Ask him questions about his family, hobbies, school, movies, books, or sports and you will very likely find some things that you have in common with him.^{[4]
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Research source} Start talking about one of these things to strike up another conversation, and even ask to hang out in order to watch a TV show, play a sport, or just talk about something you’re both into. If you both like basketball, for example, you could say, “Hey, I have a basketball hoop in my driveway, we should play sometime!”
Let him know that you’re smart by telling him fun facts, helping him while you do homework together, or just sharing something else you know a lot about. Never downplay your intelligence or “play dumb” to get his attention.
3
Be honest. Tell him true things about yourself and answer his questions honestly as you’re getting to know him. Avoid the temptation to tell small white lies or say you like something just because he likes it. The truth will only come out later and it could make him less interested when he finds out you were making something up.
- If he says “I really like country music,” you don’t have to say you like it too if you don’t, but you can still keep the conversation going. You could say “That’s cool. I’m more of a rock music person, but I can get into anything! What country artists do you like?”
Pay close attention when he talks to you and remember things he says that you can bring up in later conversations. Listen well and give him your full attention to show him you really care what he has to say.
If you’ve already spent some time with him, go ahead and tell him that you like him! You can say, “Hey, I think you’re really cute and funny. Do you want to go out sometime?” or “I like you more than just a friend. I’d love to go on a date with you!”
Make jokes, lightly tease him about something (without being mean!), or even offer to arm wrestle as a way to hold his hand and either impress him by winning or make him feel good if he wins.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Spending Time with Him

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1
Hang out in a casual setting. Tell him about something going on with a group of people, like a movie, a party, or a game that week, and drop the hint that he should come. If he goes, you can hang out with him without the pressure of a one-on-one hangout or date.
- Try chatting with one or more of his friends first and inviting them to the group activity too. That way, when you talk to the guy you like, you can tell him that his friends are going too and he will be more likely to say yes.
Find him before he leaves the classroom if you have a class with him, or chat with him at his locker between classes.
Sit next to him or just at the same table as him in the cafeteria at lunch. This is an easy and casual way to spend some time with him during school hours.
Show up to a sports game that he’s playing in or watching, join a club he’s part of, or hang out at an arcade, bowling alley, or mall where he and his friends like to hang out. Make eye contact and strike up a conversation when you’re there.
Get close to his friends to show him that you’re the type of person he likes to hang out with. You’ll get the opportunity to spend more time with him and learn more about him through his friends.
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Ask him on a date. When you’re ready to make your move, ask him out! Choose something as casual as going for a bike ride after school or something more formal and traditional like dinner and a movie. Do whatever makes you comfortable and lets you talk and get to know each other better.
- Try a super spontaneous and casual date by saying something like, “Oh man, I’m really craving ice cream right now! Let’s go get some!”^{[5]
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Tips

Every boy likes and is attracted by different things. Worry less about wearing the right clothes and makeup (boys often don’t notice these things anyway!) and more about being kind and genuine when talking and listening to him.

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Helpful 7 Not Helpful 1
Give him time as boys at this age start going through puberty and may feel afraid of their friends teasing them. Hence, he probably won't show too much love towards you. Next year when he will be 13, he probably will start having crushes.

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Warnings

Don’t despair if your crush doesn’t respond well or say yes when you ask him out. He might just not be ready for dating or needs more time to get to know you first. Know that you are a great person with or without a boy.

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Helpful 112 Not Helpful 10
Don’t change how you look or who you are for any boy. Trying too hard could make him not like you, or he’ll become interested in you for something you’re really not.

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Helpful 116 Not Helpful 11